The Reality Sucks!!!

Well with every emotion possible to feel. I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. Being 30 has shaped my thinking a lot. It probably started at 27 I realized that life was more then just wanting not to be like the examples I was presented as a kid. It was also about figuring out what it was that I wanted and who I wanted to be. That was the hard part because as a person that was pretty good at everything it was hard to factor in what I actually didn't mind doing for the rest of my life. Clearly working at a Hotel was not the root of the answers but it got me out of my slump at 23 and as of today still there at what I love to call "The Circus" and if you want to know more about this circus I suggest you check my Facebook page where I randomly go and say what I need to say without exposing direct details but a fun read. 30 hit me like a huge rock and with 30 came Anxiety and with Anxiety came paranoia. I worried and worried myself till I couldn't even sleep night after night I was eyes closed but nothing. After years of taking care of myself and excising I find myself wanting to just lay down and go to bed or watch movies all day with no motivation. One would think Im borderline depressed. Which Im happy to report I'm not I love being around people and love to travel it's just reality has never looked so blurry to me before. But one thing I am is Hopeful and optimistic that I will soon find myself back in a happier place then I am now. I just need to put myself in a better mental space and not sweat the small stuff and move forward. I just to give myself permission to do so.